One of the issues for your friend may be that they are getting a lot of advice from people about how to deal with their condition. Sometimes the advice can be useful, but, it can also seem disempowering. Personally, I wish I had $1 for every person who asked ‘what are you doing to treat your illness?’ rather than ‘have you tried X?’ or ‘you should really try Y!’ It seemed particularly amazing to me that people I hardly knew felt they knew me well enough to give me medical advice. (Obviously this isn’t the situation with your friend, who seems to be someone you know well.)

Some random ideas are: would your friend be open to going to a meditation/relaxation class with you? (So that it’s something you’re doing together, rather than something she thinks you think she should do!) Is there a relaxing, enjoyable activity that has some meditative qualities to it (ie working with clay, singing in a choir, jogging), that you could do together which she might get some benefit from?

You could even ask your friend, ‘how do you feel when I suggest you might benefit from meditation?’ and give her space to articulate an answer. Beneath the statement ‘you’re an old hippy’ might be a lot of feelings of confusion, being misunderstood, being treated as less than equal because she is sick etc etc. (They’re some of the things I felt. Until I got sick no-one gave me advice, but once I got sick it was like a free-for-all! I resented being treated like I was stupid – not physically ill.)

One final idea is to get some kind of written resource, like Ricky’s Open Letter – which explain what it feels like to have an illness. Read it, and discuss it with your friend. In this way, you’re looking at things from her perspective, and you’re learning from her experience (rather than the other way around). If your friend feels very understood, and very respected for what a difficult time she’s going through, she might be more open to listening to suggestions.

I really hope some of that information is helpful, and relevent to your situation. You can be sure you’re not the first person to have dealt with this difficult problem.

best,
Emma

I do my meditation lying down but not with any specific pose becasue anything that requires muscle tension will be too tiring and wear out those muscles. I just lie flat on my back and I guess organising myself to be straight and centered in the bed is my mental “signal” that I’m meditating… nothing more complicated than that.